Things are not always as they appear.

To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.   Anthony Robbins


I had just gotten home from the grocery store. I was hot and tired and had a ton of groceries to unload from the car. As soon as I entered the house my husband lifted the bags out of my hands and asked me to look at my son’s foot because he was pretty sure he fractured it playing baseball. I walked over to where Dalton was sitting on the couch then realized that it was too dark in the room to see so I detoured over to the light switch on the wall. Freddy noticed me walking away and yelled “I TOLD YOU TO GO CHECK DALTON!’ I turned back to him and yelled just as loud ‘I AM!  I'm turning on the LIGHT IF THAT IS OKAY WITH YOU!!!!’

He looked shocked and then started to laugh. He said he was sorry he yelled. He thought I was ignoring him and leaving the room. I don’t know why he would think that I would blatantly ignore his request but that is what perception is all about.

I constantly have to remind my employees that in fast-paced, chaotic dental office things are occasionally taken out of context and miscommunication can occur.

One day I asked my assistant Samantha to bring me an instrument. As I took the instrument from her I grazed her finger with my glove which was wet from the patient’s mouth. I nonchalantly stated that she needed to wash her hands. She walked away hurt because she didn’t realize that I had touched her and thought I was stating she had dirty hands. Normally she wouldn’t be upset about something so trivial but as I stated when we are under pressure sometimes we take things too hard. Luckily another dental assistant saw our exchange and started laughing because she saw the situation from both our perspectives. We laugh now because it is so trivial but in reality most conflicts in the office occur from a small misunderstanding.

At one time we only had one papoose blanket. This is a soft blanket lined with Velcro that allows us to secure a young and potentially combative patient while we treat them. We saw an adorable little three year old black boy who had unfortunately wet his pants during the treatment soiling the papoose blanket. We put the papoose in the washer but it was not dry by time we saw our next toddler patient – a four year old white boy. So we had no choice but to simply hold his hands and feet during treatment. This was unfortunate because he was a fighter. A new front office person had just started working with us and she incorrectly assumed I was racist because I had used the papoose blanket on the black child even though the white child was more combative. Luckily this assistant questioned me later and asked why I had not used the papoose on the white child and I explained that the previous patient had urinated on it. She laughed and told me what she had thought. I am glad she was mature enough to express her concerns with me respectfully and not go to other employees or the public and spread incorrect assumptions.

Perception is everything and miscommunication usually evolves when we perceive situations differently. In our office we try very hard to be open and communicate our concerns with each other to avoid conflict.

Our whole world is seen through our own eyes...our own perspective. Be careful-sometimes things are not as they appear.

I was out of town at a dental meeting. I was having incredible stomach cramps probably from food poisoning. I really wanted to hear the speaker so I forced myself to attend. I like to sit in the front row if possible because I am short and I have a bit of self-diagnosed ADD so I must be front and center to stay involved.

So there I was right in front of the speaker... dying of pain. I listened to him but did not take any notes- dang my stomach was on fire! It took all my strength just to sit upright in the chair. I skipped the luncheon the speaker had planned with the attendees and went to my room to lie down. After guzzling copious amounts of Pepto and taking a nap, I returned to the afternoon session feeling a little bit better.

After the meeting, I stood in the line with everyone else to get his autograph. While he was signing my book he inquired whether I enjoyed his talk. I stated that I had and I thought he was a gifted speaker. Looking shocked, he said he was relieved because he thought I hated him based on the looks I was giving him that morning and the fact that I didn’t show up for lunch.

I explained that I had food poisoning and felt like I was dying. We both had a good laugh.

He thought I hated him. I was very ill but I stayed to show him how interested  I was to hear his message.

Things are not always as they appear.