I was a victim of a crime

I had shopping bags in hand and was walking to my red Silverado truck. The parking lot was obscure and tight. Eight vehicles were packed in like a can of sardines. As I was approached my truck three women came toward me. They were intimating-tall with broad tattooed shoulders. They started heckling me.

Taunting me.

They demanded my packages. I was scared but I had spent hours looking for these purchases and was not willing to give them up. I said no and started to move around them. I had the truck keys in one hand and my brain was commanding me to use it as a weapon but I knew I was no match for these amazons.

The biggest girl snatched the bags from my hand and they descended on my purchases like a hungry pack of wolves. I decided a 'butt kicking' was not worth a few clothes so I turned to run and pulled my cell phone from my pocket and desperately dialed 911 but my fear made me clumsy and I kept misdialing.

I made it about ten steps before one of the girls grabbed me by the shoulder and spun me around.
"Give me your car keys!" Her breath was hot and rancid in my face. "GIVE EM TO ME NOW!!!!"

Spittle specked my face. She was that close.

No way I was giving her the keys to Freddy's truck! Too many memories were wrapped up in that vehicle -plus it was paid off. However her vise-like grip on my shoulder changed my mind. Suddenly the vehicle was not as important as avoiding the pain that would ensue. With a whimper I handed over the keys and whimpered "please leave me alone..."

"Poor baby" they taunted. I watched them jostle each other as they pushed the unlock button on the keychain to discover which vehicle they had just stolen.  They clambered inside my truck - hooting and hollaring. I could only stand there and watch....helpless.

I had to jump between two cars to avoid being ran over as they sped out of the parking lot.


Two weeks later I return to the scene of the crime. This time I have no purchases; I am on a reconnaissance mission. I park my Tahoe in the same parking lot and begin to look around. This time I notice details that I had not noted before.

The neighborhood is shady and run down. There are homeless people wandering aimlessing around. Why had I come to this particular neighborhood to shop and why had I not noticed this two weeks ago?

Before I can take ten steps a couple of people start walking toward me. They call out to me. I avoid eye contact and attempt to walk by. Again my instincts kick in and I know I have once again become prey.

But this time I am pissed...

I do not like being pushed around by people bigger than me. I have spent my entire life being pushed around by people bigger than me.  This time I engage them in an argument - giving back just as good as I took last time. However, within minutes I realize that once again I am over my head and my fear is incredible.

I look toward the street and see a nice looking black kid walk by. I yell out to him, imploring his assistance. He turns into the parking area and smiles at me broadly.

Wickedly...

It is then I realize he is not a friend but foe.

Endorphins kick in and with incredible strength I break away from my captors and barely squeeze into my car. In my haste I drop my keys to the floorboard but I am quick enough to hit the lock button on the door. As I reach down to retrieve my keys I get a muscle spasm from my neck down my shoulder and across my back. I force my arm to push the key in the ignition and the Tahoe comes to life. The parked cars seem impossibly tight especially with the hoodlums leaning over the windshield and standing on the running bars. I drop it in reverse, accelerate hard and slam into the car parked behind me.  I slam the gearshift into drive and prepare to stomp the accelerator again.  I look up and stare into the faces of four people blocking my entrance into the street.....

and then the phone rings.

I hear Freddy groggily say 'hello' and realize I am laying in my bed. Freddy is on-call this week and has answered the phone. I realize my back is in a full muscle spasm and my hands are clenched so hard I have to work to release them.

It takes me a minute to realize I was not a victim of a crime. It was only a nightmare but my body is not yet convinced of this fact.

I could not get the images out of my head. People say dreams are our subconscious mind trying to teach us a lesson. My reaction to this dream was so strong that I could not let it go. Laying in sweat-covered sheets my mind ran though the dream again and I realize some correlations to my life.

In my dream I was unwilling to relinquish my purchases and the truck to protect myself from pain and injury. In real life I too often hurt myself in my attempt to protect what I have achieved. Sometimes that which I am holding on too is not worth the undue injury upon myself. I need to set limits to protect myself and decide if the goal is important enough to endure the pain.

Secondly, sometimes in my drive to achieve I am not aware or focused enough to realize the climate or situation I have gotten myself into. In my dream, that neighborhood was shabby and unsafe. There were safer areas to shop - I would have found the same merchandise. Where in my life do I put undue stress upon myself when another path would be safer but just as effective?

Lastly, I realized that I am stubborn. I didn't learn my lesson the first time - no I had to return to the same place where I had narrowly missed being beat down previously. I do this in my life repeatedly. It is almost as if I have to prove to myself that the first way I chose was indeed the best and I just have to work a little harder to prove it.

That nightmare was hell. I hope never to repeat it. But as I write this fourteen hours later I realize it taught me that I need to protect myself from pain and injury, and I must be aware of my environment and I need to ensure that I don't put myself in unhealthy situations in an attempt to achieve my goals.

Perhaps these lessons can save me from a nightmare in real life.