Toothbrush laying on the counter.

My husband left dirty clothes on the floor this morning.  His dirty clothes.  I'm sure he doesn't leave them there for me to pick up.  He does plan to put them in the hamper perhaps at the end of the week when the pile is big enough to warrant dealing with.   He leaves his toothbrush on the counter too.  The toothpaste lid is off the tube and there is water on the counter.

This no longer bothers me.

He was shot in the face while on patrol as a police officer.   I thought I was going to lose him.  The day I came home from the hospital to take a quick shower and saw his dirty clothes on the floor was the day I quit caring that he left them there.   The thought of him not being around to leave dirty clothes and toothbrushes lying around was too much to bear. 

When I was preparing for him to come home from the hospital the cable box went out.  Wonderful, he had never taken a sick day from work and now the cable decides to go out and it was 20 minutes before the center closed.   Desperately I called the office and explained to them that one of Marion's Finest had been shot and did not have television to recuperated.  They said they would be happy to stay open until I got there to exchange the box.  As I put the box into the car I scratched a large gash into tint on the window.  Anyone who knows Freddy knows that he would be ticked. 

I was in trouble now.  

Maybe he wouldn't notice.  He was on copious amounts of pain medication.  Whatever! As soon as he got in the car he was like ......'What happened to the window?'  I was quiet for a second and explained that the cable was out and as I was putting the box in the car I scratched it.  He looked at the window for a minute and said 'oh well, in the scheme of things this is not a big deal.'

I guess he felt the same way.  In the big picture the little things do not matter.

He is a neat person but not as neat as I am.  So now when he lets his desk area at home get cluttered, his clothes stewn across the floor and the bathroom not as tidy as I would like it - it doesn't matter. 

Because in the scheme of things when your husband dies you will miss those dirty clothes on the floor and that toothbrush laying on the counter.