Police Officer's wife barely avoids arrest :-)

I seem to get in trouble every time I shop at JCPennys and always when purchasing clothes for Brooke.

Two months ago while shopping there I was taking pictures of shirts that I thought Brooke might want and downloading them on Facebook so she could select the ones she wanted me to buy. Problem was I couldn't get the internet on my phone to work in the store so I kept going out into the atrium of the mall to download the pics. Well about the sixth time I made a trip to the atrium this big burley mall security dude confiscated my phone. I was just a little bit upset because my debit card and driver's license were kept in a pocket in my phone case and I did not want to be separated from them.

I wasn't arguing I was simply asking for my phone so I could show him what I was doing.

Needless to say it took two massive mall cops to escort me into the bowels of the mall because you know at 5'2 I am such a flight risk. They had me sit in a room while they figured out whether I had committed a crime.

After they determined I was innocent they released me with the warning that photography was not allowed in the mall under any circumstances. Funny I didn't notice one sign stating this fact. I saw signs proclaiming that I could not wear my hat backwards *dang* and my pants better not be around my knees *apparently they have no problem with my muffin top* but I did not see one sign regarding taking pictures with your phone. I thanked them and then received a growl when I asked if their secretary could take my picture with them to capture this memory forever.

Today I had to hurry because Freddy and Dalton were picking me up outside after they were sized for their tuxes. If you know my husband you know that HE DOES NOT LIKE TO WAIT. Well he had texted me and said he was outside. I was paying for the dress but I really, really, like really had to go to the bathroom which was of course.....at the back of the store.

So I walked quickly (you can't run after a hysterectomy if you have to pee....you ladies know what I am talking about) to the restroom. I barged through the door and did my business. After washing my hands I hightailed it out of the customer service area with my shopping bag flapping behind me. I don't run often but when I need to I can sprint with the best of them and I could almost see the door and the car waiting outside and then......

"Excuse me Miss I need to check that bag..."

The mall cop again! Did he remember me? Am I going to be detained again?? OH BOY I hope so....cuz Freddy is out in the car and this could get exciting!

I bounced from foot to foot as he checked the bag and I pleaded with him to hurry because my ride was waiting. Apparently he thought I was younger than I am since I 'had to catch a ride'. He started calling me 'young lady' and reprimanding me about taking purchases into the restroom then sprinting through the store. He sternly informed me that this store prosecutes shoplifters and yada yada yada...

Hey! I remembered this speech from last time so I started reciting it with him ...something he did not find amusing.

I sure hope I don't need anything from JCPenny's in the near future and Brooke's dress better fit because we might have problems if I have to exchange it. I hope they don't have a 'Three Strikes Program'