A funny thing happened a couple years back while I was traveling a lot for work. They started texting me. At first it was small messages throughout the day: "Hey mom!" "I miss you!" "When are you coming home?"
Over time, our texting conversations began to have more meaning. "I got really mad at school today! You would not believe what this girl said!" or "I am never going to pass algebra unless you let me switch teachers!"
In the past, my nights on the road while traveling, consisted of calling room service and eating while watching the 'free' HBO but suddenly I found myself having texting sessions with my kids-for hours. The cool thing is I can actually carry on conversations with both of them at the same time! Try to do THAT talking face to face!
I know some of you parents are grumbling, thinking that I am not developing my kid's verbal skills -but believe me they can talk...just not to me. Or they couldn't, but now they do.
Yes, I know this sounds confusing but bear with me.
An important thing happened when they started texting me their concerns, problems and feelings. They discovered that I did not get upset, punish or condemn them. This is a huge fear among their generation - any generation for that matter. No one wants to be criticized for their thoughts or God forbid -teased.
They discovered that we can talk about anything and those questions are A LOT easier to ask in writing. Once they discovered that I did not fall apart or keel over dead when they broached the subject of teenage hormones or *gasp* sex they became more comfortable talking about them.
Today, we can even discuss some of these topics face to face.
I feel texting has brought me closer to my kids. When they are out with their friends, I can text to check in with them without 'disturbing' them. Often they will initiate the text - telling me about the funny movie they just watched or something that happened while they were at the mall. Both of them said that college will not be so scary now knowing that they can have quick 'check ins' throughout the day.
In my dental office, teens rarely look me in the eye. At first I thought this was a sign of disrespect, but my assistants helped me understand that I intimidated them....yes I know I am so intimidating with my 5 foot 2 bad self, but it was my age and my education that intimidated them. So I advertised Facebook throughout the office and urged them to 'friend' me. This opened up a whole new line of communication. Not only did I receive questions from teens, but their parents started communicating with me as well using this technology.
A dentist-patient privacy privilege exists in the dental office just like in a doctor's office, but many teens are too embarrassed to ask why their gums bleed when they brush, or why their breath stinks even though they brush ten times a day. Their parents tell me they feel that are 'taking up my time' or feel stupid when they ask 15 questions about whether their child should have a tooth pulled or undergo a root canal procedure. I certainly do not feel they are taking up my time or that they are stupid, but if they feel more comfortable discussing their options in a written format then who am I to resist. Once these teens and parents realize I actually LIKE talking about gingivitis and halitosis they are more apt to discuss these problems face to face in my office.
My assistants and I text each other frequently. If I see a pair of shoes I know one of them would kill to own, it is so easy to snap a picture of it and send it to her in a text. If someone has been ill, texting is a way to quickly and non-evasively check on them, let them know you care.
Many people bash texting, tweeting, emailing and Facebook as a forms of communication. I've heard arguments that the day will come when we no longer talk face to face. I believe the new technology has a place our relationships when we use it as an ice breaker or a means to check in with family and loved ones throughout the day.
Before my father-in-law got a smart phone, we were lucky to hear from him once a week. He felt like he was infringing upon our time if he called and he really didn't have a whole lot to talk about except just to say "hi." Since he has learned to text, rarely a day goes by that we do not communicate with him-sometimes twice a day.
I believe that technology can enrich our relationships. As long as we still sit down together at the dinner table occasionally and say 'I love you' every night with a big hug -texting can strengthen your relationships with those you love.
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